


accidental

by EmmaLuLuChu



Series: Discord Oneshots [1]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Fluff and Angst, Gen, Help, I am slowly Killing myself with Angst, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Why Did I Make This Like This?, something goes wrong
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-06
Updated: 2017-01-06
Packaged: 2018-09-15 05:26:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,768
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9220751
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EmmaLuLuChu/pseuds/EmmaLuLuChu
Summary: one word prompt from a writing sprint in which a thing happens and it is Rough.





	

**Author's Note:**

> just take the angst i have no good excuse

Something had gone horribly wrong.

One moment they had been doing basic training, Shiro had suddenly blanked out, and the next thing he knew he was being held on the ground and despite the angle he could see Pidge up against a wall, coughing like she’d been choking.

“Keith lay off! He’s aware again!”

He felt the weight on his back lift, heaving his body up on shaky arms. Since when would Keith have had to pin him to the ground?

“Shiro, hey, you alright?”

His tongue felt heavy and the stump of his arm burned where it touched the foreign metal of his galran arm. He wobbled as he stood, an arm wrapped around Hunk to keep him from falling back over. Shiro finally found the words to speak,

“What happened?”

Lance shrugged from where he stood, blocking Pidge from Shiro’s sight, almost as if purposefully.

“We thought maybe you’d have an answer. We were training pretty okay, and then you-“

The words stopped, as if Lance feared them. Shiro could feel the dread pool in his stomach. Shiro swallowed and asked again, though it came out more like a command.

“Tell me what happened.”

Lance shared a look with Hunk, whom tried to start shuffling them over to the exit of the training room instead.

“Maybe we should-“

Shiro pulled away from Hunk, and instantly the mood shifted when his voice boomed out,

“ _Tell me what happened!”_

It was silent for a beat, everybody staring at each other to seewho would talk, then Keith walked up, staring Shiro right in the eyes and stating as if he was reporting to a commanding officer,

“You started to attack us. You knocked me and Lance to the side, almost burned Hunk on your arm, and cornered Pidge and proceeded to strangle her. She knocked you away and I held you down before you snapped to awareness. If she hadn’t used her bayard, she could’ve been severely hurt.”

Shiro couldn’t think of what to say. He finally glanced at Hunk, who clearly had a scorch mark on his side. He switched to Pidge who immediately stiffened when she saw he was looking. To think his hands were. . . and how thin her neck was. . .

“I. . . I’m sorry, I never. . .”

He couldn’t bring himself to finish.

They all had every right to be scared of him.

-

“Pidge! What in the world is that on your neck?!”

The air among the team had been very heavy when they all gathered for food after the training session, and Allura hadn’t been able to pinpoint what the cause was.

Hunk and Lance were worried, Keith seemed distant, Shiro looked downright _haggard,_ and Pidge had kept her shirt collar up close to her neck, at least until now, where one could clearly see the beginnings of bruising.

The team stiffened at Coran’s worried question, frantically looking between each other. Allura wasn’t getting a good feeling in her gut, so she pressed on as Coran tried to get Pidge to let him have a closer look,

“Did something happen? We need to be open if we want to work as a team.”

It was quiet for all of two seconds (other than the minor squabble between the Altean and the youngest member) then Pidge shot up out of her seat, dropping the collar and allowing more of the purple skin underneath to show.

“It was a bad expirement, I was trying to work on the goo hose and it went off and wrapped around-“

“No. Don’t cover for my mistakes.”

Allura turned to Shiro, who simply rubbed at his eyes as he continued,

“I had a bad memory flashback during training. From what they told me, I attacked them. I almost killed Pidge-“

Pidge and Keith immediately cut him off, their voices figthing each other to be heard,

“No you didn’t! I would’ve only passed out-“

“Don’t go blaming yourself, you can’t help the flashbacks-“

“ _Paladins!”_

The team instantly stopped, averting their eyes downwards as she tried to piece together what to say,

“I know it’s been a rougher patch as of lately, but we can’t afford in-fighting like this. We will handle this after-”

"No."

Allura blinked in surprise, watching as Shiro stood, and started to talk without any acknowledgement of anybody else,

“I take full responsibility, and fully understand if you guys are wary about being around me. I’ll start training on my own, it’ll be for the best.”

He turned and left before anybody could say anything.

-

Shiro was a persistent asshole at times. At times the persistence worked out for the best, powering his encouragement to keep going despite being the fiftieth drill in their Lions, or when it was clear that Lance missed Earth or Keith needed some time alone, or when Hunk couldn’t ask for help or Pidge had a nightmare that she’d never have her family whole again. But of course he couldn’t use that same positive use of persistence for himself. Each time there was a small issue with his PTSD he'd give up on himself, throwing himself into a self-inflicted isolation. Most times it was easy to pull him away from that, or the space and short amount of time was enough to clear things up and he was back to being the Leader of Voltron.

Of course the same solution wouldn't work for everything.

It was two days after the training incident, and that meal was the last most of them had seen of Shiro. Of course he was there when they needed to deploy the Lions (thank every deity that Voltron hadn’t been direly needed) but even over the comms his words were clipped and the separation was having a large toll.

The others weren’t sure what to do, and while Pidge didn’t either somebody had to get through his dense skull.

Hence why she had _finally_ figured out what time he was making himself go to train and she was going to corner the idiot.

Pidge hadn’t checked the bruising on her neck since that day other than brief glances in the mirror, but she really hoped it had mostly gone away. Shiro had enough guilt as it was and being reminded of what happened would make this intervention go south.

She entered the observatory room, hoping that Shiro was already down on the training deck, and nearly flipped when she saw he in fact was standing at the console. Thankfully the door opening was barely a whisper, and it looked like Shiro was lost in concentration, as he rewinded something that was up on the console’s holo-monitor.

Pidge carefully crept in, pushing her glasses back up her nose as the video stopped.

The image clearly showing on the screen had the team gathered in the training room, mid-sparring. Who was to say when this was, and Pidge hoped it was a weeks old recording but figured she knew when this took place.

Shiro started to play it, his shoulders tensing up as the audio started.

-

_"On your left!"_

_Lance aimed and was able to shoot down the flying drone that was about to hit Keith right in the head, just barely missing the Red Paladin's helmet by fractions of an inch had said Paladin not ducked enough to the side. Keith grunted as he cut another one in half, tossing a comment over his shoulder towards the other,_

_"Maybe not so close next time?"_

_"Dude you could've gotten a concussion or something! I saved you!"_

_"Like a blast to the head would be any better!"_

_Hunk had to pull Lance out of  the way as five or so drones tried to divebomb him, taking note of the oh so eloquent yelp the other emitted,_

_"Training Rule #1 guys! Save the arguing for after!"_

_The constant motion continued for another few seconds, until Pidge realized that Shiro had gone stock still on the other side of the room. Without hesitation she yelled out,_

_"End the simulation!"_

_Loud clanging filled the air as flying drones dropped one after the other, soon followed by Keith's voice with the clear hints of anger,_

_"Pidge, what was that for? We actually had a good rhythm!"_

_At Keith's question she simply pointed Shiro out, who continued to stand where he was, staring at nothing and his eyes far away._

_Instantly the mood changed around them, putting their bayards away as Hunk started towards him._

_"Shiro? You need anything from us?"_

_They had all of five seconds as the leader lifted his head, and the look in his eyes changed from looking nowhere back to where they were now, but not the eyes of the Shiro they knew now._

_Shiro charged at Hunk, taking the Yellow Paladin by surprise as he got struck in the side with a glowing arm, falling hard and crying out._

_"Hunk! What's going-"_

_Before Lance could finish he was easily picked up and tossed into Keith, both tumbling over each other and landing with their limbs tangled together._

_Pidge was struck by fear to the spot, watching her friends fall, and having the last link to her family race towards her. She scrambled back, hands nervously twitching as she felt for her bayard, only to be cornered against the wall and her throat grasped in a tight grip._

_The Green Paladin was easily lifted, and she began to gasp as her air flow cut off. One hand kept fumbling at her side, the other pulled fruitlessly at the hand around her neck, slightly grateful that it was the skin hand and not the tech hand._

_"Sh-Shiro-snap-out of-"_

_Her own eyes started to turn blank, staring at empty space, and her breathing going hoarse._

_A hand finally found the handle of her bayard, pulling it out and struggling with effort for the energy to pull it back and thrust it towards the Black Paladin, the shocker automatically activating and hitting its target._

_Shiro shouted out and fell back, letting go of Pidge's neck in the process, skidding back a few feet from the force of the impact._

_Pidge dropped none too gracefully to the floor, holding her neck and coughing and breathing heavily._

-

The video stopped there, paused by Shiro.

Of _course_ it was that recording.

Pidge sighed, completely forgetting where she was and why she was there, loud and huffy.

She recognized her error too late, and prepared for the backlash as Shiro whipped around, eyes wild until he saw the intruder, and then they changed to alarm.

"Pidge? How did-When-"

Shiro closed his eyes and rubbed them, a frustrated groan rising from his throat. He shut down the holo-monitor, turning his back on the younger of the two.

"Just leave."

Maybe it was the fact that her eyes were burning from no sleep and her shoulders were knotted from sitting hunched over for hours, but Pidge got a rush of fury from the simple command he had given her.

"Like hell I will! I ruined my sleep schedule watching the feeds for a whole twenty-four hours, and I'm not about to go through that again because you're a dense idiot!"

Pidge continued to glare at Shiro's back, watched as it shuddered from taking in a deep breath, and the shoulders failed to go lax.

"I just need more time. There's gotta be some sort of pattern that I can find, or warning signs that I display that you guys can detect. There's got to be something I missed."

Pidge took a few steps forward, knowing that if she stepped too close it wouldn't help either party, but this couldn't continue. Who knows how many times he'd made himself rewatch those same five minutes, searching for something that likely wasn't there.

"I get it. It sucks having something out of your control, and all you can think about is all the things that could have been done to keep it from happening. But time is the last thing any of us have."

Thankfully the words seemed to be breaking through, the leader finally turning his head to at least look at her. She swallowed and continued, making sure not to look away,

"Hunk has done nothing but worry himself sick because he doesn't know if you're taking care of yourself, Lance is restless and he knows it and he's in a constant loop of stopping and starting himself because he knows it can get annoying, and Keith has been almost as impossible to find as you were. And, well, you know how I've been faring."

Pidge took off her glasses and pretended like they were dirty, just so she could angle her head down so he wouldn't see the tears of exhaustion and frustration rising up,

"Allura and Coran have been in a calm state of panic this whole time, constantly checking the systems because while they believe in us, they know they can't afford the hope that we'll magically pull forming Voltron from our current states."

She figured the water in her eyes had mostly dried by this point and replaced her glasses, satisfied to see that Shiro had actually turned around by now, although the look of guilt wasn't needed. She fiddled with the collar of her shirt, thinking back to the constricting feeling that had been there days ago.

"I know you weren't in a clear state of mind. I know you're still figuring it out, and you can be upset at yourself, but this kind of stuff isn't predictable. You can't throw yourself off the deep end every time it happens, it's worse in the long run than you realize."

This was becoming more difficult as the words poured out, but Pidge wasn't going to stop. This had happened more than it needed to, and of course it was frustrating to not be in some semblance of normal, but god, they were in _space._ Not everybody gets pulled into anything half as wild as this and is okay.

She sniffed and and folded her arms, staring at the ground as her vision blurred and her voice wobbled out,

"So can you please just stop this, and come back? Then maybe things will be fine for a few hours before we need to fend off the stupid Galra Empire or some other alien species because of some misunderstanding. I forgive you okay? We always will."

Pidge looked up through her bangs, and despite looking over her glasses she could see the fuzzy outline of Shiro holding his arms out,

"You make a good point."

She rushed into the open arms, clutching on as nice pressure settled over her shoulders.

"Of course. Had to be to get through your dense skull, asshole."

She could imagine down to the muscles twitching on his face of Shiro about to reprimand her for langauge, but it changed into a chuckle.

Pidge briefly checked her reflection in the observatory room glass window after Shiro turned to leave, seeing that the bruising was completely gone.

-

Luckily everybody had been gathered for some reason or another in the main great room, and Shiro was barraged with questions of concern from the others, while Lance was constantly stating to some degree 'How dare you, you bastard'.

He owned up to his stupid decision of cutting himself off from the others, and made a comment on how bad of a leader he was, and the next thing he knew Hunk was lifting and shaking him with no end.

"No! You're a good leader! A _great_ leader in fact! We just had a depressing past two days, do _not_ go into self-depreciating comments!"

Shiro tried to fight down the color rising in his cheeks from the man-handling and the words, letting out an empty laugh,

"Hunk, you have to admit I wasn't making the best choices."

"Sure you did, but that's already happened. No going back on it now, or lingering on it! Only nice things now."

"But-"

He was abruptly switched from being held up to being squeezed in a bear hug, Hunk glaring into his eyes with firm determination that would be comedic in any other situation, especially with the string of words that followed.

" _The compliments will continue until morale improves!_ "

Immediately those words had been followed by Allura echoing the sentiment back and joining the hug too, which eventually had Pidge and Lance join, and Coran having to pull Keith over to participate in the random and much needed group hug.

Shiro always goes back to the moment those words were said, and even at his worst moments, a feeling of lightness will always come over his being

**Author's Note:**

> this was a result of one of the writing sprints i did over on the chat for the Voltron Big Bang (which is still taking artist sign ups!)
> 
> a big weird and sentimental shoutout to the wonderful people there on the chat. i was genuinely nervous about going into a chatroom setting after being away so long from heavy socialization like this, i can't count the times i'd get frustrated with myself all of 2016 because i was never putting myself out there and just. thank you guys so much. i feel like even after the bang is over and the chat is maybe discontinued that i can just talk to you guys whenever. and i don't think a quote has ever resonated with me like 'the compliments will continue until morale improves' has.
> 
> sorry i'm sentimental and stupidly gay and don't know?? how else to explain this???? i couldn't be happier to have started a kermit revolution with you guys
> 
> #SprintSquad


End file.
